t was the 4th season of "American Idol" and Simon Cowell (aka: "Mr. Nasty") had just flown
back from England and finished shooting Pop Idol. Simon hated judging AI, but kept on for the money, but it’s not like
he needed it, he had countless millions upon millions, but the more the better.
Nigel, the executive producer of AI, quickly came into Simon’s
dressing room and greeted him…
Nigel: Hello Simon! Good to have you back!
Nigel was surprisingly optimistic and sickeningly cheerful…
At least, for Simon.
Simon: Hello Nigel.
He sighed.
Paula walked past. Her perfume lingered with Simon countless moments
after.
Paula: (in the distance…) Nigel, is my make-up lady here
yet?!?!?!
Paula may seem to be the nicest judge, but still a pampered poodle
celebrity non the less.
Simon and Nigel exchanged glances.
Nigel: I must go tend to your poodle. See you in 5.
Simon chuckled. Even though there was absolutely no smoking on
the set, Simon locked the door, turned on the fan, and lit one up. He couldn’t smoke on the 11 hour flight over, he
had been nearly 12 hours with out one.
Someone knocked on the door…
Simon: Just a minuet!
It was Paula…
Paula: Simon! Put it out! You know I can’t stand smoke!
How did she always know?
Simon cursed under his breath.
Another knock…
Nigel: We’re going on in 3.
Simon: K.
He came out of his dressing room and took his seat at the judges
table. Paula had grown that, in Simon’s words, "dreadfully awful perm", out and was back to her straight hair. Which,
in Simon’s opinion looked better than those awful curls.
Paula: Hello Simon. Welcome back.
Simon: Mhmmmm.
Randy Jackson walked in.
Randy: Hey dawgs! Welcome back!
Paula and Simon: Hello Randy.
They were both entirely sick of "dawg" they’ve been hearing
it for years, and probably years to come. They exchanged glances.
Nigel: In 3, 2, 1… ACTION!!!!!!
Ryan Seacrest came on air and welcomed back all the judges. And,
ofcourse, he just HAD to announce the biggest thing… Simon’s brake-up with that Terri Seymour girl.
More curses made their way out of Simon’s mouth.
Paula: So sorry, doll.
Randy: Yo, sorry dawg.
SHUT UP WITH THE "DAWG"!!!!!!!!!! Simon was thinking, but, sadly,
Randy was in fact Simon’s only best friend and couldn’t say it.
Simon mumbled.
The 1st contestant came on stage and eternally ruined
the song "Angel Baby". A young boy. In his early teens. Well. Early to the judges, they were all in there 40’s, except
maybe Randy, but, Randy was, I don’t know how to describe Randy…
Everyone awaited Simon’s response.
Simon: … (long pause.) If you think you can sing… your
deaf. And if we let you go to Hollywood, we wouldn’t be doing our jobs. So, no.
This was not his best. Maybe the brake-up had dulled that sharp
blade he was famous for.
Paula was shocked, she was used to hearing much worse from Simon.
Getting over the shock, it took a few seconds for he response.
Paula: Well, I think what the problem is, that you’re very
young and your voice is just not ready to sing yet, you keep cracking. In a few years, you could be good. Try back then. But
until then, sorry, it’s a no.
Paula, known for her niceness, did a perfect job. This annoyed
Simon. She was doing her job better that he was, doing perfectly what she has famous for. Randy, famous for being absurdly
odd, said his response.
Randy: Dawg, ya can’t sing for (bleep) It’s a no.
The contestant simply said: Yo’ missin’ out. Yo’
loss. He tried to spin around and walk out the door, but, inexperienced, and very young, he tripped instead. Simon laughed.
Paula giggled. Randy simply smiled and shook his head.
The next contestant, a young girl, older than the tripper, but
still young, sang, horribly, "Baby, baby, where did our love go, baby, baby, where did our love go" She waited for the reply’s.
Simon: That was horrible, absolutely dreadful. Definitely a no.
The girl said: well, I didn’t get much sleep las-
Simon cut her off, with: How many hours of sleep do you possibly
need to recite such a simple song? Still a no.
Paula: Yea, it’s a no. Sorry.
Randy: Naw. Bye.
After a brutal afternoon of horrible auditions, everyone headed
home. Well, if you call a dark, cold, lonely, 5 floored mansion a "home". It was more like a house.
The next morning Paula didn’t show up for AI, and 10 minuets
before they aired, Nigel, Randy, and the sharp-tongued Simon Cowell, started to worry. It was then that Nigel’s cell-phone
rang. Simon knew. Paula. Nigel hung up after a couple minuets.
Nigel: It’s Paula…..
Simon: Wha- what happen to Paw-ler?
He was concerned.
Randy: Yea, dawg, what’s up?
Randy was concerned too… not barely as much as Simon though.
Nigel: It seems that a driver, driving while drunk, hit her car.
It was apparently a very bad accident. The Dr. said he’d tell us more when we got there. Assuming her whole AI family
is coming.
Simon: Of course.
He DID care.
Randy: Of course dawg.
Nigel: Well, come on, she’s at Valley Manor Hospital. In
the ICU, room 212.
Simon, Randy, and Nigel got into their cars and drove to VM. Simon,
ahead of all of them, and probably speeding, was there 10 minuets ahead of all of them and went straight up to the room. Several
nurses tried to stop him on the way, but he kept going. When he got to her room, it hit him. And it hit him HARD.
Chapter 2
The great, sharp, steel-hearted, Simon "mr. Nasty" Cowell…
cried.
A doctor pulled Simon out of the room and took him aside.
Simon: What is wrong with Ms. Abdul?!?!?!
Dr: Well… I’m sorry to say, a number of things, Mr.
Cowell. She has, broken legs, an arm, several ribs, and there was severe damage to her spinal bone. But, thank God, she is,
if I dare say, all right as far as breathing goes. She can breath on her own, thankfully, and, we think, that she may go into
a coma some time soon.
Simon cried harder at this.
Simon: Will she wake up after?
Dr: Well, we don’t know yet. But… chances look slim.
I’m sorry Mr. Cowell. Were you two very close?
Simon thought for a moment…. No… they weren’t.
The dr. got the point.
Dr. If you’d like, you may see her in a few minuets.
Simon: Oh ye-
Dr. Assuming you ARE family…
The Dr. winked.
Simon slowly nodded his head…
Simon: Yeeeaaa, I’m her, her…. Uncle?
Dr. Grrreat. Ok, a couple minuets Mr. Cowell.
Simon nodded again.
All these years, when he had HATED her HATS, insulted her, thought
of her as an annoying pest… was it possible, that he…
Simon gulped…. Loved her? Cared for her deeply? Where
was all this coming from???
Dr: Mr. Cowell, go ahead.
Simon rushed in to Paula’s room.
Simon: (whispers) Paw-ler.
Dr: She is conscience, for the time being. Take advantage
of that….
He left.
Her eyes were shut. She was breathing, barely. He only wept more
when he saw her. But she said, very faintly… Simon?
Her arm that wasn’t broken (he left), reached out to him.
She still couldn’t see him. He held her hand.
Simon: Paw-ler. (he whispered.)
Pause.
Simon: Are you in pain?
Paula: I don’t know. I’m on a heavy morphine drip.
(Giggles)
Simon let out a hint of laughter. And then he knew. He was
in love with her. He always had been. But he was numb to it. He had thought, and hoped, that he would always be a bachelor.
But, he did not hope that anymore, nope, he wanted Paw-ler.
Nigel and Randy rushed in.
Randy: Ohhhhhhhhhhh maaaaan. Holy sh^t!
Nigel: Good God!
Then they both saw Simon and Paula.
Nigel: Simon?
Simon: Mmm.
Nigel: Are you crying?
Simon: Hm? (He blinked back his tears.)
Nigel: You are crying, aren’t you?
Simon: No.
Nigel: If you say so. (He knew he was.)
Randy and Nigel looked puzzled. Simon and Paula fought like cats
and dogs. They certainly were not friends. Not even close. And he HATED her HATS.
__
Ch. 3 coming extremely soon! Ill be working all weekend!!!!!!!
